Democrats Need to Stand Up

[From the DailyKos]

Behold the stunning power of Congress:

The bipartisan legislation would order Bush to draft plans to withdraw from Iraq but not require them to be implemented.

Since they're being so generous, I've got a few riders I'd like to attach to that bill:

The bipartisan legislation would order citizens to fill out tax forms, but not require them to actually pay anything.

The bipartisan legislation would order employees to punch a time clock, but not require them to actually work.

The bipartisan legislation would order pot smokers to give up their sinful ways, but not require them to actually stop tokin' up.

The bipartisan legislation would order drivers to stop eating, drinking, watching DVDs, talking on cellphones and putting on makeup, but not require them to actually pay attention to the road.

The bipartisan legislation would order Americans to stop farting in elevators, but not require them to actually hold them in.

The bipartisan legislation would order people to be clothed in public, but not require them to actually wear pants.

The bipartisan legislation would order people to be responsible for what they charge to their credit cards, but not require them to suffer any consequences for flushing their statements down the toilet every month.

The bipartisan legislation would order unscrupulous health insurance companies, heartless mine operators, hypocritical politicians, spammers, global warming skeptics, war profiteers, neocons and Bush enablers from both parties to go screw themselves...and actually require them to go screw themselves.